The dream machine ready to make my morning brew
I once read a story about a woman who took herself on a date. She realized that she could never love anyone, really, until she learned how to cultivate those feelings toward herself. So she bought herself a new dress, took herself to a fancy restaurant, bought herself a glass of wine, and enjoyed her own company as she dined on a multi-course meal.
Although I don’t feel the urge to make a reservation for one any time soon, this story has been on my mind a lot this weekend. I’ve been thinking a lot about how well we treat other people—our friends, our colleagues, our family members, our pets, our neighbors, and even strangers. We treat them with grace and kindness. But are we always so nice to ourselves?
This weekend, I set out to learn what it would feel like to come from a place of kindness.
It all started with a massage on Saturday morning. Do I know how to kick off a weekend of kindness or what? And let me tell you, it was glorious. Well, actually, the massage was incredibly painful as Michael the Masseuse (sent directly from god) pressed his 200 pounds into the crater-sized knots in my back, untangling them one at a time. But despite a little soreness afterward, my body had not felt this rejuvenated and free in a long time. And it occurred to me: Why do I wait until I have so much stiffness and pain to get a massage? Fact is, gift certificates for massages are my favorite gifts to give (you can never go wrong), but I give myself this pleasure once, maybe twice, per year and only when I feel that I desperately need them and would pay any price.
Well, not anymore. I signed up for monthly massages right there on the spot. With Michael The Masseuse of course. I’d been debating doing monthly massages since learning about this deal a few weeks ago, but I held out not because of the cost (it’s totally reasonable), but because I thought it was a frivolous thing to do. How ridiculous is that? I cringe at the thought that only a few days ago I considered kindness frivolous. Now, when I go for my monthly massages it will be more about maintaining the health of my back than Michael The Masseuse chasing boulder-sized knots up and down my spine until they are pebble-sized versions of themselves. Next time, it may actually feel good.
And, since I have a tendency to store my stress in my back, neck, and shoulders (who doesn't?) Michael The Masseuse recommended I get a heating pad and use it a few times per week to soothe those muscles. What a great idea for another kind thing I could do for myself. So after the massage I drove directly to Target. I can safely say from experience that if you ever want to kill a fabulous buzz, go to Target directly after getting a massage on a Saturday morning. Yeah, not the best idea ever. Another way to kill a buzz? Head to Costco after yoga. I've made that mistake, too. In any case, I was feeling pretty fantastic and didn't let the crowd totally chip away at my blissed-out brain. The pharmacy guy even let me check out there instead of waiting in one of the 20-person deep checkout lines. Major win. (Come to think of it, maybe he saw the imprint of the massage table donut on my face and took pity.) In the end, I got myself the heating pad and will use it to help maintain my back’s current knot-free status.
Carrying on the tradition of kindness for the day, I also bought myself a gift. I know that we buy ourselves stuff all the time, but when you buy something that’s completely unnecessary, it feels a lot better if you reframe it as a gift for yourself, which is exactly what I did.
Saturday afternoon, as I poured out the remaining coffee from the coffee pot and tossed the used filter into the garbage, I decided that I needed one of those cool machines that makes one cup of coffee at a time so I wouldn’t have so much waste. The fact that I thought this while holding my eight-week old coffee pot is pretty ridiculous. And, I’m not usually an impulsive person when it comes to purchases. But there I was at 4pm on a Saturday afternoon committed to the fact that I needed a high-tech, single-cup coffee maker. I searched online, identified the brand and model that I was going to get, made a few phone calls, and located the item at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I then gave myself the 2.5-mile walk to talk myself out of it, which didn’t happen. The only moment I questioned the purchase was during the trek home when I realized that this thing was way heavier than I imagined it would be.
Luckily, it was a breeze to set up and makes a delicious cup of coffee in one minute flat. By the way, I have zero guilt when it comes to my two-cup-per-morning coffee habit. It’s rich in antioxidants and polyphenols, which may help combat everything from diabetes and heart disease to cancer and Alzheimer’s disease. So drink up and enjoy, which I will now be able to do one cup at a time. (Oh, and if you've ever considered getting one of these things, the coffee comes out super hot, which I love.)
I have no clue whether this thing makes sense economically or even environmentally. I hope it does, but that wasn’t the point. I know that it makes me happy and I am already looking forward to using it in the a.m. Also cool: It makes hot tea, which I’ll really look forward to during the winter. It’s the little things, right?
When I think about it, I actually practiced kindness toward myself throughout the week even if I didn’t phrase it that way at the time. For some reason, I was not feeling my best. (I think it may have had to do with sugar withdrawal resulting from cutting out the nasty granola, but I am back in action and feeling divine.) In any case, I tried to take it easy during my yoga classes, which is not an easy thing for me to do. But I remembered one of my teachers saying once that taking Child’s pose instead of doing a vinyasa, when your body wants it, is actually a very advanced thing to do because it means that you are listening to your body. Huh. Well, if that’s the case then I was a total rock star this week. I probably took Child’s pose a little more often than I needed, but I wanted to see if I could be okay with it…and I totally was! I’ll admit, at first it was a little daunting , but it felt really great to give my body a break while still doing it the favor of showing up to yoga at all.
I suppose my point here is that we don’t always have to consciously take steps toward being nice to ourselves, we may already be doing it. Still, there’s something really fulfilling about recognizing the moments when we do it--giving ourselves a mental pat on the back for giving ourselves a mental pat on the back.
And other times, actively choosing kindness—whether in the form of Michael The Masseuse, a heating pad, or a totally unnecessary coffee maker—helps you remember that you deserve it as much as anyone.
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