Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What Does Your Body Need?

That's me on the green mat in Wild Thing : )

Your body is one smart cookie. Unfortunately, it’s easy to forget that. We always want to do more, push harder, and exceed our own expectations. But when you give your body what it’s asking for (check in—there’s usually a message in your inbox), that’s when great stuff happens.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that I was talking myself into going to yoga almost on a daily basis. Some days I was flat out skipping it. Something was wrong. Normally, the moment the clock on the upper right hand corner of my computer monitor strikes 5 p.m., I toss on my Lululemons and head to class. It’s automatic--like going to the bathroom when I need to pee. I don’t contemplate the pros or cons or think about what else I’d like to be doing—I just go. Because I need to. Because it’s part of who I am and what I do (the yoga, not the peeing).

Instead, I was still sitting at my desk at 5:15 pm, contemplating whether I wanted a snack. Indeed, when I tuned in, I found that there was some interesting stuff going on (besides Greek yogurt).

When I first moved to Chicago, it took me a while to find the right yoga classes for me. At first I found the classes that I was taking way too slow. I didn’t want to sit or lie down for the first 10 minutes of class. My mind would wander in a million different directions. I wanted to move! And soon, I found classes that gave me exactly that. I was ecstatic. I loved flying through vinyasas, feeling my body pulse with the rhythm of the music. I could feel my heart beating against my chest. Sweat dripped from every pore. I felt alive! At the end of class I felt wrung out and satisfied. I settled into savasana, exhausted and elated.

But something had shifted. When I checked in with myself a few weeks ago, the message I received was this: Slow down. My body was craving classes that allowed me to move mindfully and methodically through my poses. I wanted to focus on and refine my alignment, which is difficult to do when you’re blasting through Sun Salutations, as fun as that is.

I was shocked to discover this. Slow down? Me? I spend all day planted at my computer, how could I possibly want to go slow? Was I sure that’s what my body wanted? (It's easy to second guess your body when it speaks to you.) Only a few months earlier, taking those kinds of classes made me feel agitated. What had changed?

Frankly, I’m still not sure what changed—maybe it’s the changing of the seasons, maybe it’s just time, maybe my body or mind is working on something that I’m still unaware of—but I heeded my body’s directions, and have been giving it exactly what it asked for.

And I can’t begin to describe the shift that I have felt. Just like before, at 5 p.m. I’m slipping into my Wunder Under crops and racing out the door without a moment of hesitation. I'm getting so much better at sitting still during meditation at the beginning and end of class. I can almost say that I look forward to that peace now. I’ve learned that I can stay in Triangle pose for a dozen breaths, and still find things to work on (is my back leg inner spiraling enough? Are my kidney’s inflated? Is the tailbone on the front leg side tucking under? Is my top shoulder moving back faster than my heart? Are the fingers of my top hand spreading energetically enough? I could go on…) Before, these details felt like a nuisance (just let me move!) but lately they’ve puzzled and challenged me in new ways. My hope is that, in time, I can assimilate these principles into my body enough so that I can maintain them even when powering through poses—no matter the pace. I’ve found that beginner and level 1 classes can actually be more difficult than advanced ones. (After all, when it comes to yoga, aren’t we always beginners?)

It’s easy to forget how wise our bodies are. Sometimes the real lesson is in slowing down and doing less—if that’s what your body needs. Other times, there’s plenty to be gained from exploring your boundaries—if that’s what your body needs. As long as your actions honor your body’s requests, you’re going to reap the benefits.

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